> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> User Info
> previous 20 entries

July 24th, 2006

09:39 am - its been interesting to say the least. ive seemed to have gotten myself in a bind that i cant cover up anymore...i hate how people think that you can make everyone happy, thats seriously impossible. and im sick of people making me feel like ass because ive already made plans by the time they call...im not old enough to go to the bars they go to, nor do i want to put myself in the position at the bar to be tempted to drink..i dont wnat to be the stupid drunk girl that everyone seems to associate with me...i hate the misconception of wantin to have fun and having fun sober... i dont want to drink as much as ive done in the past it makes me feel like ass...i never remembered what it was like to be sober for a long period of time and how good it makes you feel its been that long for me to realize...is this what i want? i know it comes wiht being young but with working mon-fri and on the verge of moving out this would be the time that i dont want to screw up my life!!! i know you may be thinking, how would drinking screw up someones life? it can, it will, and for some it has...its put me in the wrong direction for so long so now that im acutally facing the truth it scares the hell outa me...i cant believe how off track wiht my life that ive gotten ive seemed to put those who mean most to me behind those who i like to party with...and im sorry it took so long for me to snap out of it...ive learned to not put myself in the position if i dont want to be tempted...dont get me wrong i love to go out with everyone n have fun but lately ive been completely fine wiht stayin home with some friends and just playin cards or watchin a movie and if im up for it be a dd on the weekends...and its okay..i guess its all a part of growing up :) and to make me happy...my parents got me boys to men concert tickets :) Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: ill make love to you- boys II men

(Leave a comment)

July 20th, 2006

09:42 am - each year is a new beginning EACH YEAR IS A NEW BEGINNING Emily Matthews Each year is a brand new beginning with so much to see and to do, With new opportunities waiting to make all our wishes come true. Its such a good time to plan changes, to make the fresh start we might need. To try something different and daring, to reach for the stars and succeed. Each year is a brand new beginning a precious, new chance sent our way, to follow our dreams and fulfill them with joy in our hearts every day. *Whatever your heart is dreaming of, that's what this wishes you with love* Current Location: work... Current Mood: aggravated

(Leave a comment)

July 6th, 2006

07:33 pm - hmmmm......this is startin to look good well well well.....im growing up....n its weird..going to the bank sucks to try and make my own shit...im starting to see the real world...im moving out...i sign papers on monday morning 11am and i couldnt be more excited :) things are really starting to look up for me and i couldnt be happier softball sucks but thats just cuz im done with it and have been since last year....if i didnt have to pay for my own stuff now i wouldnt mind seeing that part of my life end for a new begining... so for our apt we still are in need of some things: microwave kitchen table tv tv stand wine rack(yes we need this) cool signs to put up on the walls overall things have been really great...i miss my friends even the ones who didnt go on vacation...thats kind of sad that we can hang out but they are just too busy or what not...ive finally realized that i dont have to care about other peoples problems...that they are that and only that Other peoples problems and not my own...and i love that...no more DRAMA bc i dont let it get to me which is awesome...im sorry i say i dont care....i still care deeply for my friends but petty highschool bullshit doenst seem fun to me anymore.... i cant believe im moving out~!!!!!!!!! like im in shock actually filling out papers and visiting places but im so excited and i know there will be tough times ahead of me but im up for a challenge!! people think me n tori wont get along n i think thats a bunch of bullshit we're good friends and dont care about other peoples bullshit including our bullshit with eachother if there was any...other then that lets flip that damn coin for the loft...fill out the papers...and do the damn thing.. toga party august 20 my apt...ill let ya know the # later when i find out :) things always get better Current Mood: excited Current Music: size matters- joe nichols

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

June 16th, 2006

02:41 pm i want a man not a boy, someone who is honest with not only me but himself. i want someone who is trustworthy, true and caring. i want someone who can show affection in front of their friends and be proud that im their girl. i want someone who can make me weak in the knees when i see them. i want someone that can make me laugh. i want someone who can take the time our of their day to just call and say "i just wanted to call ya cuz i was thinkin bout ya" i want someone who is looking for more then a couple months of dating. i want someone who will commit to me and only me. i want someone who is ready to be more then just a fling. i want someone who loves me for me. i want someone to call me beautiful and mean it. i want someone to get up turn some music on and just slow dance for no reason. i want someone i can show off to my family saying thats him, thats my guy. i want someone who will hold me all night long. i want someone who will play with my hair. i want someone who will kiss me with passion. i want someone who likes to go out and hang out with their friends (i do like my alone time once in a while). i want someone who can wake up the next morning and still think i look as good as i did the night before. i want someone who can think for themselves. i want someone who likes country music and will go to concerts with me. i want someone who doesnt need drugs or alcohol to have a good time. i want someone who goes to church or would be willing to go to church with me. i want someone who has control of their life and knows where they are going. i want someone who can stop and ask for directions when they get lost. i want someone who is patient, especially with me. i want someone who cares about everyone in thier life. i want someone who can take me out to dinner or icecream just because. i want someone who wants to go on vacation and travel because there is so much more out there. i want someone i can spoil. i want someone who can get into deep conversations. i want someone who loves what they do whether it be sports, working, school. i want someone who will give me back massages without askin for them. i want someone who is loving, not afraid to love and be loved in return. i want someone who is mature enough to admit when they are wrong. i want someone who can be themselves around everyone. i want someone who can say no once in a while. i want someone who can protect me and is not afraid to. i want someone i feel safe with. i want someone that i can tell anything to and not be afraid hes going to tell anyone. i want someone who cares about themselves and takes care of himself. i want someone who can love me unconditionally no strings attached, if it doesnt work out at least you can say that you loved whole hearted. overall i want a good guy who is not afraid to love and be loved in return. im so sick of girls ruining things for me, and im sick of guys falling for that shit. im sick of people being rude and uncaring. karma is all i have to say... Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: size matters

(Leave a comment)

May 23rd, 2006

11:55 am - life seems so much easier wow...a lot has happened the last few weeks. to say it wasnt an emotional rollarcoaster the first week would be a lie. im better now. ive never felt better. ive learned a lot about people the last few weeks. ive learned they arent the people you always thought they were, and that more then anything breaks my heart. i wish only the best for you, i hope you are happy in all that you do. i hope you find one day what ive finally found. without this i dont know which way my life would have been heading. to say that i didnt want to feel feelings was a lie, keeping myself away from them would have only made things worse, i didnt take the easy way out for once by going and getting drunk everyday untill i wanted to feel better. instead i went to church, and its the best thing i could have done. ive never felt more at home then i do at church, i look forward to going and dont mind staying. all the people ive met so far have been so good to me, i dont have to worry about them knowing my past and judging me for it. i dont have to think about what has happened before because they dont care where ive been they care about where i am going. i love talking about the church and what ive learned, i never thought i would feel that way i never thought that it would have such and impact on me. i love how i can go and everything that is going on doesnt matter, it doesnt even cross my mind. but i have to go get my hair done and pack for west virginia. nothing could be better then that. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: i cant unlove you-kenny rogers

(Leave a comment)

May 3rd, 2006

(Leave a comment)

May 2nd, 2006

12:29 pm - ive never cried this much since the funeral wow, i never thought my heart could actually hurt like this again. he promised me this wouldnt happen and it did. i guess you cant help how you feel but i thought after a year things wouldnt be the same anyways just for the fact we were together for so long. i thought things were goin really good untill my gut told me otherwise. its sad cuz i seriously loved him more then anything. i thought for sure this time would work out seeing as how good we were together but i guess i was just imagining all that. i guess he didnt feel the same. i know you cant help how you feel your not supposed to. but they also say if you love someone you gotta let them go which will probably be the hardest thing cuz i cant imagine my life without him in it. ive never loved anyone the way i love him. and i dont think that love will ever go away, thats why i cant be friends with him. i dont want to be friends it never stays that way. im shocked this happened, im still in total shock. i still wanna call him and act like everything is okay, but im not going to. i cant make myself hurt anymore then i already am. im tryin to stay positive, smile act okay, be strong and then i break down again and cry. im sure there are gonna be days that i just wanna cry and cry and cry some more. and thats just what im gonna do, cry get over it and cry til i cant cry anymore. i guess this will be the first summer that i wont have a bf and i can just hang out. time heals everything, and everything happens for a reason, what doenst kill you makes you stronger, no man is worth your tears, if you love someone let them go, be selfish do something for yourself to make you feel good, and most of all be strong things will get better, keep your chin up and keep living. Current Mood: numb Current Music: keith urban-tonight i wanna cry

(Leave a comment)

January 25th, 2006

02:08 pm - 10 months.....i love him "Must Be Doin' Somethin' Right" billy currington A woman is mystery A man just can't understand Sometimes all it takes to please her Is the touch of your hand And other times you gotta take it slow And hold her all night long Heaven knows there's so many ways A man can go wrong [Chorus:] Must be doin' something right I just heard you sigh You leaned into my kiss And closed those deep blue need you eyes Don't know what I did To earn a love like this, but baby, I Must be doin' something right Anywhere you wanna go Baby, show me the way I'm open to suggestions Mmm, whatever you say Tonight's about giving you What you want, whatever it takes Girl, I hope I'm on the right road And judging by the smile on your face [Repeat Chorus] Ah, Baby Mmm... I don't know what I did To earn a love like this, but baby, I Must be doin' something right Must be doin' something right Current Mood: loved

(Leave a comment)

December 12th, 2005

07:37 pm What Icons are for you?(Thank you for #1!! Please check out my other Memes!!) by ladyallie Username Favourite Colour Sex MaleFemaleYES PLEASE!UndecidedBothNeither Your Love icon is... Your Sexy Icon is... Your Animal Icon is... Your Sad Icon is... Your Random Icon is... Your Happy Icon is... Your Food Icon is... Your Cartoon Icon is... Your Angry Icon is... Quiz created with MemeGen! Current Mood: bored Current Music: nothin in the library

(Leave a comment)

December 2nd, 2005

03:02 pm - my one n only :) My Best Friend I never had no one that I could count on I've been let down so many times I was tired of hurtin' So tired of searchin' Til you walked into my life It was a feelin' I'd never known And for the first time, I didn't feel alone You're more than a lover There could never be another To make me feel the way you do Oh, we just get closer I fall in love all over Everytime I look at you I don't know where I'd be Without you here with me Life with you makes perfect sense You're my best friend You're my best friend, oh yeah You stand by me And you believe in me Like nobody ever has When my world goes crazy You're right there to save me You make me see how much I have And I still tremble when we touch And oh the look in your eyes When we make love You're more than a lover There could never be another To make me feel the way you do Oh, we just get closer I fall in love all over Everytime I look at you I don't know where I'd be Without you here with me Life with you makes perfect sense You're my best friend You're my best friend You're more than a lover There could never be another To make me feel the way you do Oh, we just get closer I fall in love all over Everytime I look at you I don't know where I'd be Without you here with me Life with you makes perfect sense You're my best friend You're my best friend You're my best friend Current Mood: loved Current Music: best friend

(Leave a comment)

November 4th, 2005

07:46 pm - how funny How to make a ash Ingredients: 1 part success 3 parts silliness 3 parts beauty Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Serve with a slice of lovability and a pinch of salt. Yum! Username: Personality cocktail From Go-Quiz.com Current Mood: flirty Current Music: laguna beach

(Leave a comment)

October 28th, 2005

07:35 am THE DAY BEFORE YOU........ I had all but given up On finding the one that I could fall into On the day before you I was ready to settle for Less than love and not much more There was no such thing as a dream come true Oh, but that was on the day before you Now you're here and everything's changing Suddenly life means so much I can't wait to wake up tomorrow And find out this promise is true I will never have to go back to The day before you In your eyes I see forever And it makes me wish that my life never knew The day before you Oh, but heaven knows those years without you Were shaping my heart for the day that I found you And if you're the reason for all that I've been through Then I'm thankful for the day before you Now you're here and everything's changing Suddenly life means so much I can't wait to wake up tomorrow And find out this promise is true I will never have to go back to The day before you The day before you Was the last day that I ever lived alone And I'm never going back I'm never going back Now you're here and everything's changing Suddenly life means so much I can't wait to wake up tomorrow And find out this promise is true I will never have to go back to The day before you Current Mood: horny Current Music: girl tonite-twista

(Leave a comment)

October 27th, 2005

09:51 am 1. What is your Boyfriend/girlfriends name? Christopher Reeves 2. What color underwear are you wearing now? Bright blue baby 3. What are you listening to right now? umm nothing but watchin some TLC lol a baby story 4. What are the last 4 digits in your cell number? 6856 5. What was the last thing you ate? some gummy bears last night 6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? red fer sure 7. How is the weather right now? cold suns just comin up 8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Christopher 9. The first thing you notice about the opposite/preferred sex? the smile :) 10. Favorite type of Food? hmm...this might take a while..italian some good ol' olive garden fer sure 11. Do you drink? yea...gotta keep it to a minimum so i dont fail tho 12.Do you smoke? eww gross hell no 13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did? i think that would be an understatement 14. Hair color? blonde,, still has some red in it tho... 15. What is your eye color? they're supposed to be blue but they change colors, so blue gray green 16. Do you wear contacts? No 17. Favorite Holiday? Christmas for sure 18. Favorite Month? october..my bday...fall 20. What is the last movie you saw? in theaters Doom on my bday...pretty creepy movie i must say..pretty cool tho 22. Are u too shy to ask someone out? its not that im shy..but ive gotten to the point where a guy should be the one to step up not the girl 23. If you can say something to someone right now what would it be? im kinda hurt by what you said last night..i know that we cant hang out 247 if we both want to keep up in school n get the grades we want..but it suprised me how much it doesnt get to you..i guess im gonna have to get used to it untill we're both done with school...i guess our dates are gonna have to be at the library for a while 24. Hugs or Kisses? a hug is good whenever from ne one..n can make ya feel a lot better...but i love kissin my boyfriend not gonna lie 25. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla fer sure..chocolate sometimes 26. Who is least likely to respond? everyone 27. Who is most likely to respond? no one 28. Who do you want to respond? whom ever 29. What books are you reading? Stephan Kings "The writing" 30. How many piercings? 3 31. Favorite movie? wow...the notebook, dirty dancing 1&2, little mermaid, how to lose a guy in 10 days, varsity blues, batman, scent of a woman, finding nemo, lion king, love & bball, just like heaven, xmen, 32. Favorite football Team? waterford kettering...no jk...prolly lions 33 SLeeping? cant get enough 34. Any pets? 1 dog smokey 35. Sn? softballash1505 36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Butter and salt 37. Dogs or cats? dogs and cats as long as they're nice 38. Favorite Flower? calalilleys 39. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? umm yeah too many times 40. Are you taken or single? taken...i love him very much 41. Have you ever loved someone? i love a lot of people but ive only been in love with one person 42. Who would you like to see right now? my friends that went away for college...jess i miss you girlie! kelly, kt, 44. Have you ever fired a gun? in west virginia a few times but the gun put a mad bruise on my shoulder..that was the end of that one 45. Do you like to travel by plane? not really..its been a while since ive flew but im quite content with drivin for now 46. Right-handed or Left-handed? right 47. If you could be with someone right now, who would it be? my boyfriend cuz im not gonna be seein much of him n the next few weeks..especially when softball starts 48. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3 49. Do you like sleeping with the room cold or warm? room cold bed warm....heated mattress...i love it...its really easy to warm up when ya have a bf who gives off heat like whoa! 50. who do you like? my boyfriend Current Mood: cold Current Music: some kind of wonderful

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

October 26th, 2005

07:05 pm - im gonna stickwitu.. i heard 2 songs today...and honestly they made me cry..i dont really know why but they did...i hate how some songs just make ya think... the songs were- if you were mine-marcos hernandez stickwitu- pussycat dolls these songs just made me think... n i have a great boyfriend... i love you christopher... Current Mood: dorky Current Music: stickwitu- pussycat dolls

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

October 25th, 2005

01:53 pm - 7 months......... Looks like we made it Look how far we've come my baby We mighta took the long way We knew we'd get there someday Bridge: They said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on We're still together still going strong Chorus: (You're still the one) You're still the one I run to The one that I belong to You're still the one I want for life (You're still the one) You're still the one that I love The only one I dream of You're still the one I kiss good night Ain't nothin' better We beat the odds together I'm glad we didn't listen Look at what we would be missin' Bridge: They said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on We're still together still going strong (Chorus)(You're still the one) You're still the one I run to The one that I belong to You're still the one I want for life (You're still the one) You're still the one that I love The only one I dream of You're still the one I kiss good night (Chorus)(You're still the one) You're still the one I run to The one that I belong to You're still the one I want for life (You're still the one) You're still the one that I love The only one I dream of You're still the one I kiss good night I'm so glad we made it Look how far we've come my baby Current Mood: loved Current Music: still the one..

(Leave a comment)

October 21st, 2005

07:47 am - another october 21...that makes 18 happy birthday to me......finally 18.... Current Mood: excited

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

October 14th, 2005

01:59 pm - countdown 7 days til im the big 1-8 a lot has happened since ive written in here last...a bunch of crap for my car that should have never happened....about $700.00 and a big big thankyou to my wonderful boyfriends dad who's goin to fix my car for wayy cheap compared to all the assholes out there who would have charged me an arm and a leg....but ne ways had some rough tests lately i gotta start studying a hell of a lot more to get the grades i want, and should have...a lot of hw is catchin up on me all at once which sucks but its better sooner then later....took a quiz today in government actually knew what i was talking bout this time...took my car in to start gettin work done (new radiator and headlight etc) hopefully getting it back today..then when i get the money hopefully the rest of my car to get work done...sucks that all my bday money is goin towards my stupid car...hopefully i can get a nanny job soon it would be the perfect job for me at this point...in a few weeks i start conditioning wiht the team which will be nice...im kinda excited to get into shape again (i must admit ive been pretty lazy the past few months) kelly is comin in town today and im sooo excited hopefully havin a bonfire tonight (it will be like summer again, which i miss) i gotta babysit tomarro from like 7-midnight er so...not really sure, havent seen these kids since my open house.... only a week til my bday......its kinda sweet that my bday is on a friday so i can celebrate all weekend long... ne ways...i hope everyones doin good...been a while since ive seen some people...school n softball take up a lot of time...i didnt realize it untill this year...ugh..welcome to college bitches... Current Mood: busy Current Music: my hump-black eyed peas

(Leave a comment)

October 8th, 2005

11:47 am - this week sucked 3 tests + bad week + hmwk + games = my week so wednesday i was talkin on here how chris rear ended someone at work....that he got out of completely, n sure i teased him a lil bit cuz he didnt get in trouble n it wasnt a big deal cuz nothin was really damaged..well thursday mornin i had my math class so afterwards i was gonna go to the library n study but when i got to my car my tire looked a lil flat so i was gonna go home n have my sister drive back up to school...well on the way home i stopped n got food for me n my sister n when i was turning onto sashabaw (1 min from my house) the guy in front of me decided to stop instead of getting into the turn lane to go into tenuta's n i looked down to make sure pop didnt spill during the turn n i looked up n ran right into the back of an explorer...the explorer of course had one lil 2in scratch n the old assholes called the cops for an accident report...so i was sitting there trying to save all my stuff for school and pop got all over everything...so of course i was really upset...the hood of my car is trashed the fendor the lights n the grill got cracked...2 weeks before my birthday go fucking figure...and now i have to pay to get it fixed (with the money i dont have) n my birthday is gonna be interesting bc my mom never found out i got into an accident (my awesome father helped me hide it....the huge van def covered my car) but yea....horrible week..made 3 errors yesturday at wayne state...n got hit...this sucks...big time... Current Mood: pissed off

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

October 5th, 2005

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

September 21st, 2005

10:53 am - sooo...wut are yooooou doing so these last couple of weeks have been crazy busy....ive had a ton of hw and it just keeps buildin up, so today all i will be doing is hw and studying for friday's quiz, yesturday at my stress management class i found out that my teacher actually passed away the week before so thats why she never made it to a class, we all felt bad cuz we were kinda pissed at the begining of class because the lady who filled in was 30 min late... on a lighter note i gotta practice today with my dad, and hopefully tonight get to finish kristens present and friday i get some pics back so maybe i can put some in there...i still have to get a back for her gift so it doesnt bend all retarted n hopefully she can put it up on the wall er somethin...i dunno hopefully it turns out good, shes been havin a rough time with crap at home so i feel for her, sucks to be fighting with everyone when ur bday is in a week, hopefully everyone can just get along for a day....which reminds me...im still debating on what i want to do for my birthday which is in exactly a month but still, i have class that mornin but afterwards i wanna do somethin different then everyone else...i kinda want to go to the casino but then again i wanna go somewhere fun like frankenmuth and get to do something different for a change but who knows, i gotta while to figure it out........well im off to do hw...... Current Mood: tired Current Music: more then words-franki J

(1 comment | Leave a comment)